The L-Word.

I, Anna McConnell, am terrified of 1. Commitment and 2. The L-word.

For now, let’s ignore that first fear (I’m breaking into a cold sweat here, folks) and let’s zero in on that second one, the word love.

If you know much about me, you know that I get mildly uncomfortable when the L-word is thrown casually about in daily banter. (Ex. “Love you, girl!” and “Oh my God, I seriously love you!”) The only uses of the word that I am comfortable with is a compliment on my outfit, handwriting, hair, etc. or my sassy writing skills. ;)

To be honest with you, this wasn’t always a problem. MY theory is that my issue with the L-word started in middle school, just like my issue with the term “best friend.” In middle school, everyone is running around feeling insecure, looking for a boyfriend who has already entered adolescence, and trying to be a part of the “popular” group. I, like other loud 12-year-olds, clung to a variety of different kinds of friends and was soon introduced to the “LYLAS” saying. Oh yes, “love ya like a sis.”

Like any avid AIM-er, this term was one I threw at all my girlfriends. And eventually, “love ya” was the conclusion of nearly every carefully written note passed in class. But hey, everyone else was saying it, so of course I was going to use it too! And from here stemmed my first encounters with the L-word used to anyone but my close family and family friends.

In high school, my boyfriend said “I love you” accidentally to me and thought I didn’t hear. My reaction? My nearly asleep body jerked alive and my extremely alarmed voice blurted, “WHAT did you say?!” Needless to say, he was terrified. I probably ruined all of his future relationships by scaring the dickens out of him when he said “I love you” to a girl for the first time (sorry about that…).

I said it “first” to that same boyfriend months later in a card. Yeah, I chickened out, but it felt like a necessary step. To fast forward a bit, that relationship ended and here I am, the girl terrified of the L-word. BUT, I’m going to change, friends.

After sitting through this week’s 1.5 hours of college youth group, I’m ready to start loving everyone around me -- accepting, supporting, helping, and loving all who surround me. I figure if God can pour all of His love into me and have so much faith in my far-from-perfect and extremely sarcastic self, then I can surely follow one of His final commands,

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.

 (( John 13:34-35 ))

It is with this verse in mind that I am going to try to be open to the L-word from here on out. With every sorority sister, acquaintance, classmate, and stranger, I am making a promise to myself (and all of you) that I will keep an open mind. God couldn’t have created too many people that I could truly dislike, could He?

I am determined to do my best on this new goal, friends. Even if I start out by simply distributing more heartfelt Hallmark cards. I am turning over a new leaf in my attitude toward scary words. And I hope you all have the opportunity to enjoy one of my tight, genuine, and loving hugs, yourself!

Watch out world, you are about to be llllooooovvveeeddd. J