The L-Word.

I, Anna McConnell, am terrified of 1. Commitment and 2. The L-word.

For now, let’s ignore that first fear (I’m breaking into a cold sweat here, folks) and let’s zero in on that second one, the word love.

If you know much about me, you know that I get mildly uncomfortable when the L-word is thrown casually about in daily banter. (Ex. “Love you, girl!” and “Oh my God, I seriously love you!”) The only uses of the word that I am comfortable with is a compliment on my outfit, handwriting, hair, etc. or my sassy writing skills. ;)

To be honest with you, this wasn’t always a problem. MY theory is that my issue with the L-word started in middle school, just like my issue with the term “best friend.” In middle school, everyone is running around feeling insecure, looking for a boyfriend who has already entered adolescence, and trying to be a part of the “popular” group. I, like other loud 12-year-olds, clung to a variety of different kinds of friends and was soon introduced to the “LYLAS” saying. Oh yes, “love ya like a sis.”

Like any avid AIM-er, this term was one I threw at all my girlfriends. And eventually, “love ya” was the conclusion of nearly every carefully written note passed in class. But hey, everyone else was saying it, so of course I was going to use it too! And from here stemmed my first encounters with the L-word used to anyone but my close family and family friends.

In high school, my boyfriend said “I love you” accidentally to me and thought I didn’t hear. My reaction? My nearly asleep body jerked alive and my extremely alarmed voice blurted, “WHAT did you say?!” Needless to say, he was terrified. I probably ruined all of his future relationships by scaring the dickens out of him when he said “I love you” to a girl for the first time (sorry about that…).

I said it “first” to that same boyfriend months later in a card. Yeah, I chickened out, but it felt like a necessary step. To fast forward a bit, that relationship ended and here I am, the girl terrified of the L-word. BUT, I’m going to change, friends.

After sitting through this week’s 1.5 hours of college youth group, I’m ready to start loving everyone around me -- accepting, supporting, helping, and loving all who surround me. I figure if God can pour all of His love into me and have so much faith in my far-from-perfect and extremely sarcastic self, then I can surely follow one of His final commands,

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another.

 (( John 13:34-35 ))

It is with this verse in mind that I am going to try to be open to the L-word from here on out. With every sorority sister, acquaintance, classmate, and stranger, I am making a promise to myself (and all of you) that I will keep an open mind. God couldn’t have created too many people that I could truly dislike, could He?

I am determined to do my best on this new goal, friends. Even if I start out by simply distributing more heartfelt Hallmark cards. I am turning over a new leaf in my attitude toward scary words. And I hope you all have the opportunity to enjoy one of my tight, genuine, and loving hugs, yourself!

Watch out world, you are about to be llllooooovvveeeddd. J

It's hot. And I am lucky.

I am sitting here dying of heat.

No, I am not outside…I am on the third floor of my lovely sorority house laying on my futon. It is stifling. The fact that I have three fans pointed at me makes no difference because they honestly just stir up the extremely humid and hot air. Perfect.

I have been here for a month in this weather and yet I am still complaining. Here’s why:

I was WAY too lucky as a kid.

My dad must have been right (oh gosh, that hurts to say) when he reassured me daily of how lucky I was to have all that my life included. Well, you’re right, Pops.

Until I left the place I’d lived all my life, I was completely ignorant of how unbelievably privileged I was growing up. And truly, how lucky I still am.

My life included new clothes, vacations, a 100-year-old air-conditioned home, two cats, another air-conditioned home, a dog, two healthy younger siblings, two varsity teams, a Morton building with a basketball court and TV room, an entire town supporting me, refrigerators stocked full of food, 24/7 access to homemade onion rings, five living grandparents, a car with my gas paid for, a beautiful lake home, DVR, and ohhhh soooo much more.

BUT, until I officially left all of that glory and arrived in Ames, I was so naïve about the lifestyle I was fortunate enough to grow up in.

So, let me just sincerely say,

Thank you.

Thank you Mom and Dad for all that you do and all that you’ve done for me.

And thank you to all those who are there for me now and who have been there all along. I feel so lucky to have each and every one of you in my life.  ♥

And I'm.........ALIVE!

I’ve been MIA, I know. And I don’t have any excuses worth telling. But, I am ready to fill everyone in about what I’ve been up to…

[[ Statistics homework, experimenting in the kitchen, serving elderly men beers, stat homework, swimming, entertaining guests, cleaning my house, celebrating my favorite holiday, statistics exams, Skyping, bonding with the family, reading, coughing (bronchitis), scrapbooking, swimming, having SO much fun with my friends, stat homework, reflecting, eating out, trying to figure out who I would like to be this year, and last but not least, thinking of things to do before I turn the big 2-0. ]]

Most of my summer was wasted on my computer trying to figure out the meaning of creative symbols mathematicians must have made up as a joke, but I did get creative and fit in plenty of time with my family, some big band music, I packed friends into the bunk beds with me, and learned to pull skiers, tubers and wake boarding folk behind the trusty old Sea Ray.

I am so lucky. In the 2 weeks since my final statistics exam, I have finished a TV series, had around 25 people in and out of the house, and am whipping through some scrapbooking/reading. I now recognize locals at most of the places I run errands to and eat out at, which is a wonderful feeling. Life has been just lovely.

In the Kitchen, I’ve created:

1. Buttermilk Blueberry Cake.

2. Homemade Whipped Cream.

3. Cappuccino Pops.

4. Cinnamon-Sugar Pull-Apart Bread.

5. The Perfect “Whatever is in the Fridge” Egg Scrambler.

6. Cake Balls (NOT my favorite).

7. Soft Pretzels.

8. Burgers. The Anna Version.

9. Chocolate Brownie Pudding.

In the house, I’ve entertained:

-       4 Sorority Sisters

-       6 Fraternity Men

-       2 Best Friends

-       1000000 of my family members and their guests!

I’ve also perfected the sunset pictures taken on this beautiful West Lake Okoboji. J

Sorry, again, that I’ve been so distracted by the events of the summer, but I hope you all have been as blessed as I have been in fun times and company! I’ll do better now, I promise. J Thanks for reading!

My Summer Job!

I am the beer cart girl (or as my mom wants me to say, “beverage cart girl”), cocktail waitress, and occasional bartender at the semi-private Emerald Hills Golf Course in Okoboji, IA. And my goodness do I love my job. Here are 10 reasons why!

1. My Cart.

An extraordinary amount of my time at work is spent with my lovely beer cart stocked full of liquor, water, and Gatorade, which I am now considering naming. I don’t always consider her a friend, but she is very loyal to myself (and our sweet customers). 95% of the time, my cart is a complete mess from all the liquor being poured on it’s surface and the weather (mud) making itself known all over it, but she is still beautiful in her own clown car kind of way.

Its cushy seat is perfect for all the bouncing I do over each little bump on my paths through the trees, the striped topper is a true showstopper each time I make my way toward another dedicated golfer, and last but not least, the wheels branded with the Emerald Hills logo make me feel ever so classy.

2. Alone Time.

I spend my days driving, driving, driving.  I make my route around the course and continue to go round and round smiling and saying things like, “You guys still doing okay?” “How’s that 6-pack treating ya?” and “Rough day, huh? Well, I do have an entire cart full of alcohol that could help with that!” My days are eventful, but there is a lot of downtime both between holes and when business is slow. SO, to pass the time I am constantly thinking, dreaming, and singing.

This time is both a blessing and a curse for many reasons. The number one reason being that I have an unbelievable amount of time to both overanalyze and plan my life. So, whatever has been said to me in the last few days has time to be fully processed, blown up, and then filed away in the storage cabinet of my mind (oops).

One advantage is that I come up with some very ambitious goals, dreams, and lives for myself while scanning each hole for customers. Example: After serving a group of men from Texas, I made the executive decision that myself and my closest sorority sister will be moving to Texas after graduation to be classy Southern women. Ambitious? Yes. Realistic? Absolutely.

Lastly, I get some quality quiet time, which is always a killer in my busy mind. To solve this problem, I take it upon myself to both hum and sing to myself whatever comes into my head, which is often times the theme song for “Green Acres,” ironically. I have become my own little iPod shuffle! Practice makes perfect I suppose, so watch out Adele!

3. Wildlife.

Many a times have I whined about the geese at Emerald, but this year they have really outdone themselves. Last year’s 4-5 families of geese that were very evil and protective have definitely grown in numbers. I swear that each baby must have started their own family this year, because those little devils are EVERYWHERE. And so, as a challenge to myself, I pretend to steer at them and take it upon myself to hiss and wave my arms violently before they get the chance to come at me like a dance mom on competition day. It’s becoming quite the exciting battle…1 Anna vs. 60,000,000 Geese. I’ll win, don’t worry.

As for other animals, the giant turtle is back and looking healthy/scary as ever! I for one was happy to see that he had a good winter and is still going strong. I also have seen giant crows, flocks of tiny squirrels, a pretty Emerald-headed Mallard duck, pairs of bunnies, heard an obnoxiously loud frog, and watched an unusual bird with babies the size of bouncy balls running behind it scamper away from my cart. Hello Nature. Nice to meet you.

4. Athletic People in Nice Threads.

I just recently played my first round of golf, but I have always admired those who play the lifelong sport. Each person I quietly watch drive the ball toward the green is like a mini superhero in my eyes (if they hit it in the right direction). The ease of their swings, the speed they play at, the diligence they take to practice on the range (some daily) is so impressive to me. Athletic people are always surrounding me! And the best part is…? Their outfits.

I truly enjoy seeing the ensembles golfers come up with for their days on the course. Some are extremely casual, while others seem to own the entire pro shop’s selection of trendy golf attire. Those who deviate from the norm always stand out to me for their creativity and definitely catch my attention with their often bright and bold patterned shorts! And I’m proud to say that the ladies come up with some very sporty chic ensembles as well. Makes me so proud (and jealous).

5. Popportunities.

Yes, you read that correctly. The word I created is defined as the opportunity to collect pop tabs. As you can imagine, these times come often as I am passing by cart after cart of beer drinking men. The sound of pop tab’s clink as it snaps off the can is one that is very familiar to my ears lately and the glistening of a lost can sends an exhilarating chill up my spine. My job is a great place to get excited about homecoming in GreekLand!!

[If you are reading, PLEASE collect for myself and Chi Omega!! J]

6. The Danger Factor.

People can die from a golf ball hitting them in the head. Google it, it’s real. And so this simple fact makes my job a constant game of “How To Stay Alive.” Rounding corners, coming up on hills, and being in extremely open areas are obstacles I make sure to pay close attention to. Hiding behind trees is the usual for my cart and I, although we have been hit on the front of the cart (sticking out from the tree) and on the canopy above me a few times. It’s the adrenaline rush and constant fear that makes the job so exciting, I suppose! My priorities are to keep people hydrated, satisfied, and in good spirits and to survive. And because I recently scorched my hand on a crockpot of Boji Boys and welted/bruised my face on the ice machine door, I would say you can never be too careful anywhere.

7.  Carley/Anna Debates.

My coworker/other beer cart girl/friend, Carley, is beautiful, has dark wavy hair, and pretty blue eyes. I also have blue eyes and dark wavy hair, BUT I am not as tall, skinny, tan, bohemian, etc. as her. Our coworker claims he sees nothing in common between the two of us except for our hair and eyes. Surprisingly, he is nearly the only one who thinks that.

Apparently we are a package deal for many people around the course and my goodness do they struggle to differentiate between the two of us. It is so entertaining! Carley got to the course weeks after myself and when she arrived I was immediately questioned about my name, boyfriend (she has one), and if we were at least sisters. I’d sure take her as my sister, and I don’t mind being compared to someone so awesome, but my name is Anna. J And you’re making me laugh.

8. Snow Globe in Summer.

Hole #2 is wonderful in it’s own special way because of its very seasonal feature...it’s snow globe green. At a certain point in the summer, the trees near the hole explode with little cottony pieces of joy and rain down on the golfers trying to putt. From my angle, it looks as though the golfers are underdressed for some type of gentle snowstorm hitting them. It always makes me smile to watch the trees release their little cotton balls and to see the golfers so in awe by the quantity they can produce. It just looks so beautiful!

9. Creative Time.

My boss has recently caught on to the fact that I very much enjoy doodling, writing, and drawing and is now asking me to make more signs than ever for the clubhouse and tournaments. I AM THRILLED.  I love being paid to come up with cute signs and use Sharpies! I have gotten to make quite a few so far and can’t wait for whatever other projects he decides to let me work on!

As for when I’m on the beer cart, I am often faced with times that I need to stay still and quiet to allow the golfers time to hit without being distracted. There are also times that I need to hide in order to survive. These are the times that my little sheet of paper I use to log my sales becomes either a garden of flowers, a swarm of butterflies, or a park full of cotton ball trees. These times are great ones and they come more often than you’d think. Waiting/timing is another key part of my job.

10. THE PEOPLE.

The people I work alongside are awesome, but the people I get to serve and cater to each day are incredible. I feel so privileged to have so many wonderful members at Emerald. They are so sweet, genuine, and caring to me and I have nothing but good thoughts toward them. I love stopping at certain holes to chat with those sitting outside their houses and getting quick updates while pouring their drinks on the course. These people have become so near and dear to my heart, truly.

One of my VERY favorite Emerald couples, the adorable Bob and Judy!

On my last night last summer, the couples in league were so sweet with their advice for college and offers to do my laundry. They made me so sad to leave them all.

We are also lucky to have a semi-private course, so we get to see our regulars and we have fresh faces coming in all the time as well. It’s so exciting to hear each person’s story and how they made it to Emerald. People are just incredible and I have such a wonderful time doing my job and listening to their life stories.

If you haven’t figured it out by now,

I love my job and all parts of it.

I’m so happy to be a part of such a wonderful business and to have the opportunity to meet so many amazing people. I feel so blessed to have found a summer job that I actually enjoy!

Come visit us! We’d be thrilled to have you! Click here to check us out. :)

Anna's Favorites - #1

UPDATE: I have made the move out of Ames. I transitioned for a few days in my own home in Indianola and now have officially moved up to Okoboji/Paradise. J This is not a very current update, but I’ve been neglecting my lovely blog…
(so sorry about that)

After WEEKS of posting nothing, I want to start a new segment called Anna’s Favorites! It’s going to be a reoccurring post whenever I think of something that anyone other than myself might be interested in.

Today’s favorite?

Driving past the windmills (wind turbines) on the drive up to the lake.

My very favorite part of what is supposed to be a four hour drive to the lake is driving through what I am going to call a “wind farm,” just south of Pocahontas. When I can just make out the tiny town of Pomeroy, its motto is “Town and Country Working Together,” I begin to see the fragile little silhouettes of hundreds of wind turbines.

The spindly little skeletons of the wind turbines from a distance.

And soon enough I’m speeding a little too fast and sitting on the edge of my seat to take it all in…the fields crops, the small farms sprinkled in between wind turbines, the chapel, the massive shadows...it’s incredible.

I’m not sure a what point exactly it is that my goosebumps show up, but I’m nearly positive it’s when I pass the first turbine that is close to the road and know that I am in the heart of something so much bigger than myself.

The Close-Up. Right alongside the road.

It’s hard to describe my relationship with the windmills. Since I was little, my mom has always had some fascination with old-time windmills making their homes on small farms. That fascination then turned into a collection of antique models of windmills that salesmen would carry with them. And now, with the recent energy movements, it only makes sense to update the interest to wind turbines. So, our family has watched this wind farm grow over the years and have seen the dozens of new wind turbines each year.

This wind farm has a magical quality to it. When I drive through I am humbled by the fact that there are hundreds of machines moving in sync with each other surrounding my little Saturn and myself. I love feeling as though I am in the midst of an alliance bigger than just me. It’s a fairytale moment every time.

But, what I have yet to mention is how often I drive through the area at night. You would think that when everything is dark there would be nothing to see, but FALSE! This is the most exciting time. All of the sudden you are being surrounded by red flashing lights for miles. On the right side of the road, they blink almost all together and on the left side they are a little less synchronized but still blink nearly all at the same time. Feels as though you’re entering an alien base of sound kind….sounds strange, but I dare you to disagree.

Although driving through the wind farm is only a short segment of my journey to the lake, it is truly a favorite time of mine. And if there is any time that I am at all excited while driving it is a small miracle. J

Roommate Fate...?

For the past nine months, I have lived with a girl who I was chosen to room with by Iowa State. There was no searching on Facebook for someone similar to me, no roommate searching website, just a whole lot of faith in Iowa State’s ability to choose someone normal for me to share my 15’ x 11’ room with for my freshman year of college. That takes a lot of faith.

The day that my roommate’s name was posted I was immediately on Facebook with my family creeping on this girl who seemed normal. Knowing that she lived a mere 40 minutes from my hometown was definitely reassuring and it appeared she was in choir, like I was.

Day 1 at ISU. Stranger roomies.

We had a few small conversations to decide who would bring what to our room, the color scheme of red, black and white, and to share some basic information about ourselves. This girl seemed really sweet, but with Facebook as my only source, anyone can make himself or herself seem normal.

Move-in day came along fast and soon this girl and I were living together. Our moms took the awkward picture of the two of us in our new room, basically strangers, and we were off. Our schedules were compared, our sleeping schedules decided, our space divvied out, and soon we had our own little home in Maple 818. 

Battle of the can opener. First semester adventure.

My roommate, Rachel, has turned out to be an unbelievably kind and caring person, but more importantly she has become a trusted friend whom I will be forever grateful for.

The friendship between two girls stuck in an extremely small space together may seem inevitable, but the two of us are very different. I am extremely social, sarcastic, loud, and probably talk more than anyone and at 100 mph. Rachel is much more quiet and subdued, a great listener and a determined student. (Well, she was originally not very outspoken at least.)

An image of our friendship. Dressed up and dressed down...

Two very different personalities have created quite the friendship. Our room is covered in post-its quoting silly things we’ve said. My computer is full of videos of the two of us dancing around and lip-syncing to a variety of songs. My TV provides the daily Friends episodes and Rachel’s microwave is the mastermind behind dozens of mugs of hot chocolate over the year. We’ve become quite the team.

If there’s ever a time when I’m having a weak moment, Rachel feeds me exactly what I need to hear or leaves me to my headphones and time alone. If she’s having a meltdown over something I think is hilarious, I do my best to try not to laugh and listen to her calm herself down by talking about it. We complement each other in our own special way, I suppose.

All dressed up!

Freshman year is hard and we’ve created our safe place of Maple 818. If this isn’t home, than I’m not sure what is. And if this isn’t friendship, I’m not so sure I know what friendship is. My first roommate, Rachel, will always be a wonderful, hilarious, and surprising memory in my mind and forever a close friend. ♥ 

A Year of Change

As I pack up my dorm room, ready to finish off my freshman year of college, I’m thinking to myself about change. If there is one thing I’ve learned in the past year of my life it is that change is growth.

In high school, I was appalled by the way the previous high school seniors came back and had completely different ways about them. They acted like they were so much different than myself and had new mannerisms and ways of speaking. But, after my year of change, I understand.

Leaving home and moving to college is huge. There is no other way to describe it. You quickly learn what’s important to you and what is not worth fighting for, which goes for people as well. Suddenly, the world is truly yours to take and you get to decide what mark you’d like to make on it.

College is change. Leaving is change. And as much as I’ve fought changes in the past, there is no doubt about it that I’ve learned to embrace them, because change is growing up.

I’m different than I was a year ago. I’ve been plucked out of the town I’ve lived in for 18 years and moved to places that I’ve created a new Anna in - a clean slate, but really just an opportunity. I’m different, but I like to believe that I’m better.

I am choosing who I am now. I go to church willingly, I call my mom often, I have joined a sorority, I choose my classes and if I want to attend, my standards are higher, my speech has changed, I sleep during the day, I believe what I want to, and the list goes on and on. But now, I am nearly positive that I am on my way to becoming the true Anna, meaning the one I am by choice. 

Now as I sit here, thinking of creative ways to get my entire dorm room into my car, I am sad to see this year ending. This year has brought me so much enlightenment and happiness that I am feeling bittersweet about this next step, but then I stop myself. I know better.

My world is changing again, but now I know to take full advantage of it. I have changed, but I am without a doubt still Anna, just a more developed version of myself.  I know that if I never step forward, I will always be in the same place. And there is far too much I’d love to see. J